I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
where are my eyebrows?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
