She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
