Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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