And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
