Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
