I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
