At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
