Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
