i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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