Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
