in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
