Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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