he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
