cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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