ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
