yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
what day is it and did you see me today?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
