Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
