Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
