i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
