Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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