Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
