no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Terrible idea I love it
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
