I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
