I puked a lego.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
