i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
