i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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