How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
