i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
