On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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