Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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