dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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