Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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