P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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