who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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