capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think I am morally bankrupt
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
