Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
