Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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