You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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