Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
