Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
