i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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