Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
