The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
