I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
