So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
