currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The beer is more important than you right now.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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