In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
