i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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