They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
