remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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