That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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