There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
